In a society where cis-gender men are reported for sexual assault every 2.3 seconds a day for accidentally brushing past a woman, the age of practicality and common sense are all but a distant memory.
Men get publicly shamed and outed. Men lose their jobs. Men are shunned by their families, friends, acquaintances and former work colleagues, and ultimately, men’s lives are left in tatters thanks to the accusations of women.
In an apparent misogynistic and sexist society where females do not have equal rights (according to every pink haired raging feminist on Buzzfeed anyway) the word of a woman is still favoured over a man’s in the event of an accusation of rape.
So, to stop the influx of false rape accusations and to also appease the pussy rioters, a solution has been created.
Introducing LegalFling, a digital app that creates legally binding contracts before consensual penetration is performed by two consenting adults.
Let’s say you’ve met someone in a bar, you get along and it looks like you might be going home together to engage in a bit of a f*ck session. To make sure the sex you want to have is consensual, all you do is open up LegalFling and send a request to your potential shag like you would a message on WhatsApp.
True, it may kill the sexual libido and make you quickly lose your erection, but at least you won’t be spending the night in a damp jail cell over a false rape accusation.
It comes after a year where Harvey Weinstein and the #MeToo campaign have dominated the headlines.
But it’s not just the LegalFling app which is trying to change the way we engage in physical connection. In multicultural Sweden, there is legislation being proposed that would require people to give explicit consent before they have sex.
With Sweden’s growing rape epidemic showing that 85% of all gang rapes and sexual assault were committed by migrants, we can’t see that sex obsessed migrant men will be queuing up to download the LegalFling app or agree to a woman’s legal consent, especially when migrant men from the Middle East generally do not operate according to Western values.
LegalFling states on its website that sex should not only be fun, it should “also be safe for everyone”. If you receive a request on LegalFling and you press accept, the app claims you have entered into a legally binding agreement.
And if one of you breaches that contract by, for example, sharing sex tapes online or withholding information about STDs, you could end up in court.
Consent can also be withdrawn at the touch of button, effectively ending the legal agreement.
This does however raise a lot of questions however. What happens if you press the button to consent but half way through the deed you change your mind but are unable to press the withdrawal button? How would that stand legally when the app says you clearly consented?
No doubt that despite the legally binding digital contract, some women will still find a way to claim they have been violated.
HELL! Even 95-year-old comic book legend and Marvel creator, Stan Lee, can’t escape the clutches of sexual harassment accusations!
In a world where even the slight touch of a knee can be classed as sexual assault, maybe we all should be getting those digital consensual contracts ready and signed. That next sexual harassment accusation (and money making law suit) could be just right around the corner.
Story by Michael Lee
Featured Photo Credit: goodtherapy.org