World Cup 2018: Who’s Coming To Russia?

Now as you wonder what you have to look forward to after England played two extremely boring 1-0 victories over Slovenia and Lithuania in the World Cup Qualifiers to ensure their qualification, well in judging by those performances, not much to… Continue Reading

Mesut Ozil Has “Mentally Checked Out” Of Arsenal

According to Arsenal legend Martin Keown, creative German attacking midfielder Mesut Ozil has already “mentally left the football club”, given his subpar performances this season, and with his contract set to expire on the 1st of July 2018, Arsene Wenger… Continue Reading

Coleen Rooney Wants Wayne Rooney To Take A “Sympathetic Leave” From Everton

Whilst the horrible and devastating Storm Irma has been tearing up the Caribbean Islands and the Florida keys, in Cheshire, Storm Coleen Rooney has been brewing amidst Wayne Rooney’s kiss with a strange woman, and a drink drive arrest after… Continue Reading

Transfer Deadline Day: The Round-Up

In a major anti-climax on Transfer Deadline Day in the English Premier League, and in consequential related transfers around Europe, not much happened at all. What does stick out however, is Arsenal’s major failure in the transfer window. Let’s break… Continue Reading

Transfer Deadline Day: What’s Hot & What’s Not?

Transfer Deadline Day for the English Premier League is beckoning on us all tomorrow evening, with the dealings set to officially cease at 00:00 GMT on Thursday, August 31st, 2017, we thought we’d assess what’s likely to happen before then.… Continue Reading

Jose Mourinho Opens Talks With Zlatan Ibrahimovic Over New Contract

“Well, well, well” as we’ve been saying all day here at the Brainstain offices, and rightly so, the time has now cometh where the English public, deluded football fans and those who love Zlatan get the news that they’ve been waiting… Continue Reading

UEFA Super Cup Final Preview: Real Madrid vs. Manchester United

Tonight in Skopje, Macedonia, the two biggest clubs in World Football will go head to head. It’s Real Madrid verses Manchester United in the UEFA Super Cup finals! Both teams have come a long way to get here, with Real… Continue Reading

Cristiano Ronaldo Issues “Buy Me” Plea to Manchester United

Real Madrid legend Cristiano Ronaldo, 32, has issued a “buy me” plea to English clubs, most notably to that of Manchester United. How could did this come about? It seems that the Spanish tax authority have been pursuing him for… Continue Reading

Neymar Jr. Undergoes Medical in Porto Before Imminent Signing for PSG

Brazilian international number 10, and a third of Barcelona’s “MSN” of Messi, Suarez and the latter himself “Neymar”, is now set to leave to sign for Paris Saint Germain (PSG) within the next forty-eight hours, as Neymar Jr. just arrived… Continue Reading

Josep Guardiola Spends £133 Million On Full Backs

Josep “Pep” Guardiola has not been very shy with his Middle Eastern backed Manchester City bank balance of late, but when has he ever been, since his arrival? So far, he has spent around £170 million, which is a million miles… Continue Reading

The Sickening Corruption Of The Qatar 2022 World Cup

Anyone remember when that football news broke that Qatar would be hosting the 2022 World Cup, even though, their team has never ever been close to a World Cup, let alone quite learned how to play the game just yet.… Continue Reading

Hot Transfer Talk: What’s Next For Cristiano Ronaldo, Morata & Others?

Guess what? Apart from burning buildings, worldwide terror attacks and the pushing of the effervescent brainwashing from socialist news media networks onto impressionable people, there’s still something less horrible and corrupt to engage in, and that’s our main man Cristiano Ronaldo… Continue Reading

Can Manchester United Lift The Europa League Trophy And Qualify For The Champions League?

Manchester United face off against Ajax tonight in the Europa League final at the Friends Arena in Stockholm, in a match that will surely define the Red Devil’s first season with Jose Mourinho in charge. Will their season be defined… Continue Reading

Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s Knee Injury is Not Career Ending

On the 20th of April, when a lot of people were presumably smoking up the wacky-tabacky for 420 (National Weed Day) and Neo-Nazis were probably celebrating Adolf Hitler’s birthday, we were watching Zlatan Ibrahimovic playing upfront for Manchester United against… Continue Reading

USA, Mexico, And Canada Bid To Host The World Cup In 2026

Yesterday, the U.S.A., Mexico and Canada announced their joint bid to host the World Cup in 2026, in a sign of unity in sport, despite Donald Trump’s justifiable insistence on the border wall between America’s southern border and Mexico. The… Continue Reading